tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-192201632024-03-07T00:54:36.163-08:00Production, Not ReproductionI'm a mother of two through open adoption. This is a bit of my story.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05737780263679929983noreply@blogger.comBlogger754125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-77098840953749032652013-10-19T08:17:00.004-07:002013-10-19T08:17:52.586-07:00Well, Hello ThereHello! How are you? I miss writing here so much! But that is not what I am here today to say.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://openadoptionbloggers.com/adoption-blogger-interview-project" target="_blank"><img alt="Adoption Blogger Interview Project 2013" border="0" src="http://openadoptionbloggers.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/abip2013sq.png" title="Adoption Blogger Interview Project 2013" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
The Adoption Blogger Interview Project--which got its start <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/search/label/Interview%20Project">right here at this very blog</a>--has moved to <a href="http://www.openadoptionbloggers.com/">Open Adoption Bloggers</a> for 2013. It is still for any blogger who writes about adoption, not just open adoption. I am sad to see it go, but it made more sense to house it over there this year.<br />
<br />
I just wanted to mention it so that no one who wanted to participate this year missed out. <b>Registration ends tomorrow on October 20</b>, so <a href="http://openadoptionbloggers.com/adoption-blogger-interview-project">sign up now</a> if you are interested.<br />
<br />
Miss you all!Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-14374269359321556132013-05-08T12:49:00.000-07:002013-05-08T12:49:21.613-07:00Toddlers and ToiletsBaby Trey is now Toddler Trey. Or, alternatively, Barely-One-Year-Old-Bumbling-Around-the-House-on-Adorably-Wobbly-Legs Trey.<br />
<br />
I admit that, with a four-year gap between Trey and Mari, I had gotten out of the habit of the constant vigilance that toddlers require lest they upturn every drawer and basket in your home. Mari was also the sort of baby who preferred to stick by her caregiver's side, so she conveniently kept herself within eyesight. Trey considers the world his oyster. Now that he is completely mobile and very, very curious, I'm once again going through that process of trying to eliminate temptation and danger by looking around the house with the eyes of a toddler. Eyes which see trash cans as toy baskets and toilets as convenient indoor water tables.<br />
<br />
For example, behold a list of things Trey put into the toilet just yesterday:<br />
<ul><li>diapers, used (two)</li>
<li>toilet paper</li>
<li>items from bathroom waste bin, assorted</li>
<li>package of wipes</li>
<li>his shoe, orange</li>
<li>his comb</li>
<li>a pencil</li>
<li>my hairbrush</li>
<li>my toothbrush</li>
<li>his hand, right </li>
<li>my sanity</li>
</ul><br />
Good thing the little bugger is so delightfully cute.<br />
<br />
<div id="tYCyid0j" title="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"><a href="javascript:decryptText('tYCyid0j')">{Enter password to see picture}</a></div><br />
Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-14991579307287753362013-01-23T11:44:00.000-08:002013-01-23T11:44:35.081-08:00Children's Books About Civil Rights MovementEddie came home from school the other week parroting the usual first-grade story that Martin Luther King, Jr. single-handedly got a bunch of unfair laws changed by making one great speech. Granted, he was working off a lesson in his second language (it's a bilingual program), but still. We jumped back into our ongoing conversations about the decades of work by countless individuals that made up the modern civil rights movement, not to mention the centuries of activism and resistance prior to that. Such a big, big topic.<br />
<br />
I asked whipsmart internet friend Shannon (via Twitter) if she had any recommendations for quality picture books that we could use to augment our discussions with the kids, because I've been pretty underwhelmed with what I've found so far. And did she ever! I know some of you will also be interested, so I wanted to share her <a href="http://lesbianfamily.com/2013/01/22/a-picture-book-bibliography-of-the-civil-rights-movement/">list of children's books about the civil rights movement</a>. Thanks, Shannon!Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-17503718792892900472013-01-19T11:30:00.004-08:002013-01-19T11:30:43.824-08:00Three Beautiful Things #25<a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/2007/03/3bt-1.html">Three beautiful things</a> on a wintery weekend day:<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Silence behind the door of the room in which the napping baby lies<br /><br />
</li>
<li>Whipped cream<br /><br />
</li>
<li><span class="userContent">Driving over a bridge by my home one morning, the fog was so thick it swallowed the river, the banks, the horizon. Suddenly I was driving through clouds miles above the earth.</span></li>
</ol>
What is beautiful in your world today? Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-58135261789148656882013-01-17T18:58:00.000-08:002013-01-17T18:58:11.084-08:00Sibling Rivalry...Over SiblingsOf my three children, Eddie is (currently) the only one with siblings in his birth family. Or as he puts it, he has "a brother and sister who live with me and a brother and sister who don't."<br />
<br />
Eddie and his out-of-the-house brother and sister share a (birth) mom. The three kids are being raised in three different households, part of three different families, with three different last names, but we just call them brothers and sister. We send birthday presents and occasionally get together in person when our paths cross, much like you might with cousins. Eddie has known about each of them since they were babies.<br />
<br />
We spent an evening with Eddie's little brother (now adorably two years
old) and his adoptive parents the other week. It was really lovely. Ever
since <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/2011/11/in-window.html">we connected with them in 2011</a> (definitely one of those heart-pounding-as-you-hit-send email moments for me when we first reached out to them), we've been getting to know one another via Facebook and a couple of in-person visits. BabyBrother's
parents are fun, generous people who we really enjoy and, frankly, it has been a giant
relief to see our relationship solidify and know that Eddie will have
that connection to do with what he wants in the far-off future. <br />
<br />
What makes it different (or rather, one of the things which makes it different) from cousins, of course, is that while my kids share the same set of cousins, they don't share the same set of siblings. And there are some Big Feelings about that in our house at the moment. Mari thinks it is incredibly unfair that she doesn't have any siblings outside of this house but Eddie does. Meanwhile, Eddie is very proud that he has more siblings than Mari or Trey does and is not shy about sharing it. Their two stances feed off each other like some sort of snake snacking on its own tail.<br />
<br />
"I want BabyBrother to be my brother, too!" "No, he's my brother, not yours!" "Eddie won't share his brother! Wah!"<br />
<br />
"Hey Mari, I have sister and Trey has a sister and you don't." "Why does Eddie get to have a sister and I don't? It's not fair!" "Ha, ha! You don't have a sister!" <br />
<br />
It's the nature of sibling rivalry to tangle over whatever is on hand, and one of those things on hand in our home is Eddie's bonus siblings. I remember talking with Todd about birth siblings back when we were going through that first adoption process, about how it was as important to us for our kids have a relational connection with any siblings as with their first parents. I definitely did not expect to be moderating the same sorts of bickering about siblings as I do about car windows and board games and crackers. But it makes sense when I think about it. Openness allows an integration of the different pieces and people that make up our children's adoptions into our daily life and right now the kids make no distinction between family connected to them by adoption and family connected to them any other way. Even if, at this stage, that means using Eddie's family as one more thing to compete over in their ongoing sibling rivalry.Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-8958781597543438112013-01-16T13:15:00.000-08:002013-01-16T13:37:06.907-08:00Bedroom for TwoWe moved into our house six years ago now. It's the longest I've ever lived in one place as an adult, after hopping through a line of dorm rooms and rentals.<br />
<br />
It is a fine house, and we are grateful to have it. That said, it was built in the 1970s, and it has had a few owners with <strike>terrible</strike> unusual taste since then. Both of those facts have left their marks on the house, from the popcorn ceilings in many of the rooms to the strange two-tone carpeting choice in the hall stairs. My mind (and Pinterest boards) are full of ideas for changes I'd like to make, both big and small, but, alas, time and money are not unlimited.<br />
<br />
When baby Trey arrived, we knew we'd need to figure out the bedroom situation fairly soon, since we now had three children to fit into two bedrooms. Of all the combinations, having Mari and Eddie share a room for the next few years was the one that seemed to make the most sense (and the one they were most enthusiastic about). Snuggled together in my bed one morning, they decided on a nature theme and we set about designing what would soon be <i>their</i> room.<br />
<br />
In keeping with Schade tradition, what probably would be a weekend project for some has taken us almost half a year. Todd and I somehow managed to keep our marriage intact while putting in a tongue-and-groove ceiling (no! more! popcorn!) in an un-air conditioned house during what turned out to be the hottest week of the summer. But over the past several months walls were painted, furniture rearranged, ugly light fixtures banished, and new curtains sewn, all with Mari and Eddie making excited choices along the way.<br />
<br />
Yesterday I was putting the finishing touches on the climbing wall mural (there is a climbing wall!) and realized that we were almost finally finished with the room. And, perhaps unsurprisingly, it's become my favorite space in our house. I love resting on the fuzzy green area rug the kids call The Grass, staring up at the wood ceiling. I love the shared sibling space with its bright, outdoors-y colors. I love that the big kids were finally old enough to help create a space they enjoy. It is the one room in our home that finally feels completely "us," and it's a reminder of the wonderful changes that happened in our family this past year that led to its creation.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://openadoptionbloggers.com/2013/01/15/open-adoption-blog-hop-1/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://openadoptionbloggers.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/hop.png?w=100" /></a></div>
<i>This is part of the first <a href="http://openadoptionbloggers.com/2013/01/15/open-adoption-blog-hop-1/">Open Adoption Blog Hop</a>. Bloggers are answering the question, "What is your favorite room/spot/piece of art in your home?" </i><br />
<br />
<i>You can visit other participating blogs (and join in the fun yourself) at <a href="http://openadoptionbloggers.com/2013/01/15/open-adoption-blog-hop-1/">Open Adoption Bloggers</a>.</i>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05737780263679929983noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-79303302210650799222013-01-09T10:15:00.001-08:002013-01-09T10:15:04.095-08:00Wordless Wednesday: Afternoon Walk<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd2zRLJrc1iXOZ1GggB1kNmOCsjm3bNws6F-MJZzxiZ6mnTyuAJomnVqr1gkaxMjWzTJzDDocVKrWNjnl35cGnCNsywCM2ylh4_U9brwwBJ18ob7tXgPQQiaWJpyBO0Qy-guAE/s1600/b4ddc3e4539711e2b28822000a9f1468_7.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img alt="" border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd2zRLJrc1iXOZ1GggB1kNmOCsjm3bNws6F-MJZzxiZ6mnTyuAJomnVqr1gkaxMjWzTJzDDocVKrWNjnl35cGnCNsywCM2ylh4_U9brwwBJ18ob7tXgPQQiaWJpyBO0Qy-guAE/s1600/b4ddc3e4539711e2b28822000a9f1468_7.jpg" title="Afternoon Walk" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-10101753331688614912013-01-07T13:32:00.000-08:002013-01-07T13:32:23.062-08:00DoneTodd and I have three nephews and nieces so far, all by way of Todd's brother. Oddly, they've all been harbingers of our own three children.<br />
<br />
First Todd's brother and sister-in-law had a baby in 2004. Then Eddie arrived in our family in 2005.<br />
<br />
They had another baby in 2007. Marian joined our family in 2008.<br />
<br />
After a bit of a pause, they had a third baby in 2011. When Trey unexpectedly came along in 2012, Todd and I jokingly said we should have known he was on his way, since our newest niece was now a year old. Twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern, right?<br />
<br />
We recently found out that our sister-in-law is expecting another baby in 2013. All I could think when the inevitable joke came about how this must mean #4 was in store for us was, "No. No no no no no. I am DONE."<br />
<br />
I've had many people tell me that they knew when their house was full, so to speak. Whether it was after one child or two children or six, they just knew their family had reached the right number. I've always hoped I'd stumble into that same certainty, especially after my <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/2009/08/more-about-3.html">endless dithering and overthinking</a> post-Mari, sometimes eagerly looking forward to the "big kid only" stage, other times wishing for a third child.<br />
<br />
I know part of my present certainty is due to not wanting to relive the way I <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/2012/06/it-shouldnt-have-been-so-hard.html">fell off the emotional cliff</a> after Trey's placement, and I am sure part of it is due to the fact that Trey is still a giggly, smushy baby at the moment (although thisclose to being a toddler, yikes). It may very well be that I will feel differently as his babyhood slips away and it's time to give away the baby things. But perhaps not. I have already handed off the newborn cloth diapers (so wee!) with nary a pang of nostalgia or hesitation.<br />
<br />
Whether this sureness turns out to be lasting or temporary, I know how unbelievably lucky to have reached this place. And with a deep sigh of relief, I will embrace it for as long as it lasts.Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-35071094942776540042013-01-01T12:49:00.003-08:002013-01-01T12:49:50.764-08:00What Were the Best Posts of 2012?Happy new year, my friends!<br />
<br />
Now that we've written all the posts that will be written for 2012, I wanted to make sure you knew that the <a href="http://openadoptionbloggers.com/2012/12/18/announcing-best-of-open-adoption-blogs-2012/">2012 Best of Open Adoption Blogs submissions</a> are open over at <a href="http://www.openadoptionbloggers.com/">Open Adoption Bloggers</a>. You can submit one post written by someone else and one post written by you (or just one by someone else, if you don't blog or don't want to include yourself on the list).<br />
<br />
One of the things that I most like about this list (<a href="http://openadoptionbloggers.com/2012/01/10/best-of-open-adoption-blogs-2011/">which started last year</a>) is that it's not judged or voted on. Every submission is included. If a post resonated with you, it is one of the best of the year. There is room to celebrate all of us, both the big bloggers and the small.<br />
<br />
The list will be published on Friday, so hurry on over by this Thursday to make your picks. There are loads more details and a link to the submission form over at the <a href="http://openadoptionbloggers.com/2012/12/18/announcing-best-of-open-adoption-blogs-2012/">Open Adoption Bloggers blog</a>. I'm looking forward to seeing what you include!<br />
<br />Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-17870624632041706592012-11-14T01:00:00.000-08:002012-11-14T23:49:10.506-08:002012 Adoption Blogger Interview Project<div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="Adoption Bloggers Interview Project 2012" border="0" src="http://openadoptionbloggers.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/abip-12.png" title="Adoption Bloggers Interview Project 2012" /></div>
Welcome to my second-favorite day in November! (Thanksgiving wins that battle.)<br />
<br />
In a nutshell, for those who clicked through to this post from elsewhere on the vast internet, the Adoption Blogger Interview Project pairs up bloggers for personal, indidualized interviews. It started <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/2010/03/interview-project-march-2010.html" target="_blank">two years ago with a group of open adoption bloggers</a> and has grown to involve over 100 bloggers from a variety of adoption experiences.<br />
<br />
The writers below spent the last few weeks poring over one another's blogs and coming up with interview questions for each other. Bloggers will be putting up their posts throughout the day, so check back if a link doesn't seem to work yet. I encourage you to leave a comment at each interview you visit, even if just to say thanks for the time they put in to making this project happen.<br />
<br />
And now, in no particular order, here are the participants in the 2012 Adoption Blogger Interview Project:<br />
<ul>
<li>Jill of <a href="http://adoptionaintforsissies.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-interview-project-rebecca.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Adoption Ain't for Sissies</a> & Rebecca Hawkes of <a href="http://www.rebeccahawkes.com/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview-project-2012.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Love Is Not a Pie</a> </li>
<li>Meghann of <a href="http://www.fourwildblueberries.com/fourwildblueberries/2012/11/meet-david-of-seeking-fatherhood.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">four wild blueberries</a> & David of <a href="http://seekingfatherhood.com/adoption/interview-with-meg-of-four-wild-blueberries" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Seeking Fatherhood</a></li>
<li>Amber of <a href="http://www.bumbersbumblings.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Bumber's Bumbling</a> & Jenny Hill of <a href="http://wakingupinfertile.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Waking Up Infertile</a></li>
<li>Lindsy Wallace of <a href="http://www.wordfromthewallaces.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview-project-part.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">word from the wallaces</a> & Tara Bradford of <a href="http://thebradfordadoption.wordpress.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Smore Stories</a> </li>
<li>Alissa of <a href="http://www.notavisitor.com/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview-project-meet.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Not A Visitor</a> & Kathleen of <a href="http://ourtreeofhope.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview-project-2012.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Our Tree of Hope</a></li>
<li>Danielle Barnsley of <a href="http://anotherversionofmother.com/2012/11/14/open-adoption-interview-project-meet-lia/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Another Version of Mother</a> & Lia of <a href="http://lianotjuno.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/open-adoption-interview-project/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Lia, not Juno</a></li>
<li>Natalie of <a href="http://www.oldgeorgiahouse.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Our Old Southern House</a> & Becky of <a href="http://lessonsfromaninfertilesocialworker.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Lessons from an Infertile Social Worker</a></li>
<li>SleepyKnitter of <a href="http://20stuff.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">20stuff</a> & Linda Peterson of <a href="http://5kidswdisabilities.wordpress.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Raising 5 Kids with Disabilities and Remaining Sane</a></li>
<li>Kristen Howerton of <a href="http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview-project-2012.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Rage Against the Minivan</a> & Thorn of <a href="http://motherissues.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/adoption-blogger-interview-kristen-howerton/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Mother Issues</a></li>
<li>Racilous of <a href="http://racilous.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/adoption-interview-project-colleen-from-ranunculus-adventure/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Adoption in the City</a> & Colleen Oakes of <a href="http://ranunculusadventure.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-adoption-blogger-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Ranunculus Adventures</a> </li>
<li>Lisa of <a href="http://pursuingparenthood.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Open to Life</a> & Adrianne of <a href="http://willandadrifindbabies.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-bloggers-interview-project-lisa.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Finding a Family</a></li>
<li>Susan Glavas of <a href="http://glavasadopt.blogspot.com/2012/11/2012-adoption-bloggers-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Susan & Mitch (hope to) adopt</a> & Melinda of <a href="http://hesourheartshesourhero.blogspot.com/2012/11/2012-interview-exchange.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">joeandmelindaadoptionquest</a></li>
<li>Natalie of <a href="http://gnatalie77.blogspot.com/2012/11/interview-with-betty-anne.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Adopting the Spectrum</a> & Betty Anne Davidson of <a href="http://bettyannescott.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview-2012.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Betty Anne and Scott</a> </li>
<li>Kim Wallis of <a href="http://kimandscottadopting.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/adoption-blogger-interview-project-2012/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">kim and scott adopting</a> & Katelyn of <a href="http://100letterstoyou.blogspot.com/2012/11/open-adoption-blogger-interview-2012.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Letters to You</a></li>
<li>Traathy of <a href="http://theyalllived.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/2012-adoption-bloggers-interview-project/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Happily Ever After</a> & LisaAnne of <a href="http://lisaanne119.blogspot.com/2012/11/open-adoption-interview-project-2012.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Living Through Today</a></li>
<li>I Was Anne of <a href="http://tearsofandjoy.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Tears of/and Joy</a> & AmFam of <a href="http://american-family.org/2012/11/14/2012-adoption-blogger-interview/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">American Family</a></li>
<li>Amber D. of <a href="http://alacartebaby.blogspot.com/2012/11/2012-adoption-bloggers-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Ala Carte Baby</a> & Ashley of <a href="http://morethandogchildren.blogspot.com/2012/11/interview-time.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">More Than Dog Children</a></li>
<li>Elle of <a href="http://ritehere.wordpress.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">(w)rite here</a> & Julie Sweet of <a href="http://idiotgirlslifepostadoption.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-adoption-interview-project-2012.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Idiot girl's life post adoption</a></li>
<li>Stephanie of <a href="http://meanderingsteph.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Meandering Steph</a> & Sarah of <a href="http://lollymixedbag.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">lollymixedbag</a> </li>
<li>Christina Lang of <a href="http://www.thelanggangloves.com/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Lang Gang Loves</a> & Tiffany Castleberry of <a href="http://www.stuffandthingsblog.com/an-interview-with-adoption-blogger-christina-of-the-lang-gang-loves/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Stuff and Things</a> </li>
<li>Melissa of <a href="http://www.thecorkums.com/2012/11/14/adoption-blogger-interview-project-meet-ashley/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Cork Board</a> & Ashley of <a href="http://www.authenticallyashley.com/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview-project-2012.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Authentically Ashley</a></li>
<li>Rain Woman of <a href="http://rainsthoughts.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/open-adoption-interview/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Weathering Storms</a> & Robyn Chittister of <a href="http://wp.me/pdNVf-GA" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Chittister Family</a></li>
<li>Megan of <a href="http://www.earthstains.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-bloggers-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Earthstains</a> & Momo of <a href="http://wp.me/peErQ-hr" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Momosapien</a></li>
<li>Mandy of <a href="http://www.lovelikecrazy31.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview-project.html?m=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Love Like Crazy</a> & Kenna Shumway of <a href="http://www.myiwrite.com/2012/11/adoption-interview-project-2012-mandy.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">iWrite</a></li>
<li>Red of <a href="http://onemoreday-adoption.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">One More Day</a> & Sarah Clevenger of <a href="http://clevengeradoption.blogspot.com/2012/11/2012-adoption-blogger-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Adoption Project</a></li>
<li>Kierstin of <a href="http://www.ourfamilybuildingadventure.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Our Family Building Adventure</a> & Judy of <a href="http://judymmiller.com/2012/11/the-adoption-bloggers-interview-project-part-one/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Parenting Your Adopted Child</a></li>
<li>Denise of <a href="http://write-o-holic.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">write-o-holic</a> & Tiffany of <a href="http://raisingpaityn.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Raising Paityn</a></li>
<li>Megan of <a href="http://ttababy.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">TTA Baby</a> & Andy of <a href="http://todaysthedaytheygivebabiesaway.blogspot.ca/2012/11/adoption-interview-project-2012.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Today's the Day</a></li>
<li>Wendy of <a href="http://wendy-steve-andg3.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Our Story: A Blog About Open Adoption</a> & Kelly of <a href="http://surprisedbyhope.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Suprisedbyhope</a></li>
<li>Shannon LC Cate of <a href="http://peterscrossstation.wordpress.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Peter's Cross Station</a> & Lindsay of <a href="http://fortunesfull.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Fortunes Full</a></li>
<li>Linda Hoye of <a href="http://lindahoye.com/2012/11/adoption-bloggers-interview-project/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">A Slice of Life Writing</a> & Shannon of <a href="http://oneinchofgrace.wordpress.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">One Inch of Grace</a></li>
<li>Cat of <a href="http://catsfilibuster.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview-project-2012.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Cat's Litterbox</a> & Mommysquared of <a href="http://goo.gl/QPkwq" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Our Journey to Parenthood and the Years That Follow</a></li>
<li>A Life Being Lived of <a href="http://a-cat-bythetail.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Carrying a Cat by the Tail</a> & Janet of <a href="http://birth-grandma.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Birth-Grandma Chonicles</a></li>
<li>Alexia of Journey to <a href="http://conleyfamilyextension.blogspot.ca/2012/11/adoption-blogger-interview-project-2012.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Extend our Family</a> & Lynn of <a href="http://openheartsopenminds.blogspot.com/2012/11/open-adoption-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Open Hearts, Open Minds</a></li>
<li>Robyn of <a href="http://www.afrikadvantage.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Afrik Advantage</a> & Kumar of <a href="http://stuckout.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/adoption-blogger-interview-project-2012-robyn/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Stuckout</a></li>
<li>KatjaMichelle of <a href="http://therapyisexpensive.wordpress.com/2012/11/13/adoption-blogger-interview-project-2013-mirah-of-family-preservation-advocate/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Therapy Is Expensive</a> & Mirah Riben of <a href="http://familypreservation.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-adoption-bloggers-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Family Preservation</a></li>
<li>Meg of <a href="http://www.godwillfillthisnest.com/2012/11/open-adoption-interview-project-2012.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">God Will Fill This Nest</a> & Maggie Terryn of <a href="http://www.apairofpinkshoes.com/2012/11/adoption-bloggers-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Pink Shoes</a></li>
<li>Rebecca Miller of <a href="http://scaredtobehappyhappytobescared.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/a-man-only-learns-in-two-ways-one-by-reading-and-the-other-by-association-with-smarter-people/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Scared to be happy, happy to be scared</a> & Lori Lavender Luz of <a href="http://writemindopenheart.com/2012/11/adoption-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Write Mind Open Heart</a></li>
<li>Rebekah of <a href="http://rebekahpinchback.blogspot.com/2012/11/interview-project-meet-coley.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Heart Cries</a> & Coley of <a href="http://livingthebittersweetlife.wordpress.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Living the Bittersweet Life</a></li>
<li>Susiebook of <a href="http://susiebook.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/interview-time-2012/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Endure for a Night</a> & Kelly of <a href="http://makingmonkeysoup.com/2012/11/14/adoption-interview-project-2012-endure-for-a-night/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Monkey Soup</a></li>
<li>Rachel of <a href="http://www.whitesugarbrownsugar.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">White Sugar, Brown Sugar</a> & Stephanie of <a href="http://garcias2chile.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Garcias2Chile</a> </li>
<li>Cathy Heslin of <a href="http://reunioneyes.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Reunioneyes</a> & Rachel of <a href="http://thegreatwideopen-openadoption.blogspot.com/2012/11/2012-interview-project-reunion-eyes.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Great Wide Open</a> </li>
<li>I_am of <a href="http://statisticallyimpossible.blogspot.com/2012/11/oar-interview-project-2012-meet-jenn.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Statistically Impossible</a> & Jenn of <a href="http://insertbadmovietitlehere.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/interview-project-2012/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Insert Bad Movie Title Here</a></li>
<li>Angela True of <a href="http://transracialadoptionsf.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-bloggers-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">transracial adoption</a> & Seriously?! of <a href="http://stillseriouslyandlovinit.wordpress.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Seriously?!</a> </li>
<li>Amy Thomas of <a href="http://www.jimandamyhopingtoadopt.blogspot.com/2012/11/2013-open-adoption-bloggers-interview.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Jim and Amy Hoping to Adopt</a> & Sarah of <a href="http://www.mylittlelantern.com/2012/11/adoption-bloggers-interview-project-2012.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">My Little Lantern</a> </li>
<li>Monika of <a href="http://www.musingmonika.com/meet-laura/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Monika's Musings</a> & Laura Dennis of <a href="http://www.laura-dennis.com/adoption-bloggers-interview-project/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Laura Dennis - The Adaptable Expat Mommy</a> </li>
<li>Erin of <a href="http://connectedthroughlove.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/2012-adoption-bloggers-interview-project/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Connected Through Love</a> & Delana Stewart of <a href="http://delanasworld.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/adoption-blogger-interview/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Nine Year Pregnancy</a></li>
<li>Lindsay Smith of <a href="http://onloanfromheaven.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">On Loan From Heaven</a> & Brandi of <a href="http://www.stifffamily.com/2012/11/14/adoption-interview-project/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Okkar Lif</a></li>
<li>Suz of <a href="http://wp.me/p11NUK-At" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Writing My Wrongs</a> & Kohana of <a href="http://growingfamily.typepad.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Growing Family</a></li>
<li>Kelly Raudenbush of <a href="http://www.myoverthinking.com/2012/11/the-third-part-of-triad-guest-post.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">My Overthinking</a> & Cynthia of <a href="http://restorativegrief.blogspot.com/2012/11/meet-kellyabsolutely-awesome-adorable.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Restorative Grief for Birthmothers</a> </li>
<li>Kristin of <a href="http://www.parenthoodpath.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-interview-project-2013-akers.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Parenthood Path</a> & Abby of <a href="http://akersoflove.blogspot.com/2012/11/adoption-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Akers of Love</a></li>
<li>Jenny of <a href="http://www.blessingsandraindrops.com/2012/11/the-adoption-blogger-interview-project.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Blessings & Raindrops</a> & April of <a href="http://wp.me/p2w6mF-lK" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">R. Sativus</a></li>
<li>Sharon Van Epps of <a href="http://whateverthingsaretrue.typepad.com/whatever_things_are_true_/2012/11/the-2012-adoption-blogger-interview-project-meet-camille-of-embracing-the-odyssey.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Whatever Things Are True</a> & Camille of <a href="http://embracingtheodyssey.com/adoption-interview-project-2012/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Embracing the Odyssey</a></li>
</ul>
<br />
Enjoy! May you learn new things about the bloggers you already know and discover some new favorite reads.<br />
<br />
<a class="pin-it-button" count-layout="horizontal" href="http://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.productionnotreproduction.com%2F2012%2F11%2Fadoption-blogger-interview-project.html&media=http%3A%2F%2Fopenadoptionbloggers.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F10%2Fabip-12.png&description=Adoption%20Blogger%20Interview%20Project%20%7C%20Meet%20100%2B%20adoption%20bloggers%20%40%20Production%2C%20Not%20Reproduction"><img border="0" src="//assets.pinterest.com/images/PinExt.png" title="Pin It" /></a>Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-38280057171807294972012-11-06T15:17:00.000-08:002012-11-06T15:19:35.055-08:00Saying It AloudOne of my children did some occupational therapy this summer, which meant I spent quite awhile sitting in the therapy room examining the odd assortment of posters and notices hanging on the walls. One that I found myself coming back to again and again was a (rather poorly) photocopied list that hung directly across from the bank of chairs. Someone had tried to add some color by going over the typed words with a set of markers, nearly obscuring the text, but I could still just make it out.<br />
<br />
"Six critical life messages that every child needs to hear every day,"* read the heading. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2I7onmylS8wOxm22uoSb_547J2__k_0ezCc5Bj8BjcCvU2w4uQD2cYHx_PJK886hbPekYeDaBgzqNuLLo-dgqWHRqtgdwzpTPTF41-4ZQ5OUjZZiUkpaat_iL2TuI3kv3gXC-/s1600/Sixthings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2I7onmylS8wOxm22uoSb_547J2__k_0ezCc5Bj8BjcCvU2w4uQD2cYHx_PJK886hbPekYeDaBgzqNuLLo-dgqWHRqtgdwzpTPTF41-4ZQ5OUjZZiUkpaat_iL2TuI3kv3gXC-/s1600/Sixthings.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2I7onmylS8wOxm22uoSb_547J2__k_0ezCc5Bj8BjcCvU2w4uQD2cYHx_PJK886hbPekYeDaBgzqNuLLo-dgqWHRqtgdwzpTPTF41-4ZQ5OUjZZiUkpaat_iL2TuI3kv3gXC-/s1600/Sixthings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<br />
It went on:<br />
<ul>
<li>I believe in you</li>
<li>I trust you</li>
<li>I know you can handle this</li>
<li>You are listened to</li>
<li>You are cared for</li>
<li>You are very important to me</li>
</ul>
Admittedly, my first vague thought was that all those things were true, so my children probably knew them from my actions. But as the list stared me down each week, I started wondering how often, if ever, I said each of these statements so plainly. Especially given my personality, which tends to be the sort that believes if you've said something to someone once, there is no need to repeat it again and again. <br />
<br />
Knowing I could never recall all six without practice, I decided to pick one to try saying deliberately for a time as a (decidedly non-scientific) experiment. The one that spoke to me the most was "I know you can handle this," especially thinking about Mari. My dear Mari is so capable, but she doesn't believe it yet about herself. She is often hesitant, frequently holding back even when it is an activity she would enjoy. She rarely pushes herself outside of her small comfort zone, physically or emotionally. After Trey arrived, her reluctance to try new experiences combined with a very normal preschooler reaction to having a new sibling and snowballed into an insistence that she couldn't do even the simplest things for herself (like putting on her shoes). Earlier this year it had grown to near-constant cries of, "I can't do it!" and "Help me!"<br />
<br />
When moments came up in the day when I'd normally expect her to start resisting, like dropping her off at preschool or asking her to do a task, I'd look her in the eyes and say confidently, "I know you can handle this." I said it a lot. So many times in a day that it started to feel ridiculous.<br />
<br />
But it wasn't ridiculous to Mari. Right from the start I noticed that she seemed to move through the "I can't do it" wails a little bit faster. And one sunny afternoon she dangled from the monkey bars in our backyard--a section of the play structure that usually drove her to tears and pleas for rescue--and called out, "Mama! Look at me! Look at me, Mama!" When I told her that I saw her, she shared with an enormous grin, "I can do so many things!"<br />
<br />
It it hard to believe something about yourself if you never hear it said aloud.<br />
<br />
I've posted these six messages on my office wall behind my desk, where I see them as I work. I'm hoping all six will become a regular part of language I use with the children, that these will become the messages they hear now from me and from their own inner voices in the future.<br />
<br />
*A footnote said the list came from <br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060014318/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0060014318&linkCode=as2&tag=prodnotreprre-20"><i>Kids Are Worth It! : Giving Your Child The Gift Of Inner Discipline</i></a> by Barbara Coloroso.<br />
<br />
<a class="pin-it-button" count-layout="horizontal" href="http://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.productionnotreproduction.com%2F2012%2F11%2Fsaying-it-aloud.html&media=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-KOGImUQTCsU%2FUJYJAlWmSRI%2FAAAAAAAAAD8%2F3jBDnTLdlso%2Fs1600%2FSixthings.jpg&description=Six%20messages%20every%20child%20needs%20to%20hear%20every%20day%20%40%20Production%2C%20Not%20Reproduction"><img border="0" src="//assets.pinterest.com/images/PinExt.png" title="Pin It" /></a><br />
<br />Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05737780263679929983noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-2322561624136896522012-11-01T23:53:00.000-07:002012-11-01T23:53:03.271-07:00Countdown to Interview Day: 13We had over 100 bloggers register for this year's <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/p/open-adoption-bloggers-interview.html" target="_blank">Adoption Blogger Interview Project</a>! You can see the list <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/p/open-adoption-bloggers-interview.html" target="_blank">here</a>. There have been a couple of hiccups, which is to be expected when trying to virtually overlap this many strangers. But overall it seems like a really interesting, varied group of writers with some intriguing random pairings.<br />
<br />
Thank you to everyone who helped spread the word online. It was a treat for me to read the different posts and blurbs of people describing the project, especially people who talked about their experiences participating in previous years. The winner of the Amazon gift card for helping to publicize is Susan from <a href="http://glavasadopt.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Susan and Mitch (hope to) adopt</a>!<br />
<br />
The interviews show up on November 14--less than two weeks now to wait...Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-10705200867098677492012-10-09T02:07:00.000-07:002012-10-15T11:53:54.004-07:00The 2012 Adoption Blogger Interview Project is Here!<a href="http://openadoptionbloggers.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/abip-12.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://openadoptionbloggers.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/abip-12.png" /></a>It's back! The <b><a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/p/open-adoption-bloggers-interview.html">Adoption Blogger Interview Project</a></b>, that is. Mark your calendars for November 14.<br />
<br />
We had <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/2011/11/interview-project-november-2011.html">over 100 participants last year</a>, each with their own unique and thoughtful interview post. I loved that in the middle of the noise of National Adoption Month we took the time to listen to each other, share our own stories, and make connections outside of our usual internet haunts.<br />
<br />
The Interview Project is for any adoption blogger--not just open adoption bloggers, not just domestic adoption bloggers, definitely not just adoptive parents. If you are a blogger who (1) writes at least occasionally about adoption, (2) is interested in meeting a fellow writer with different views and experiences, and (3) wants to extend a welcome into your own online space, this interview project is for you.<br />
<br />
The details, registration form, and button codes are <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/p/open-adoption-bloggers-interview.html">here on this page</a>. <b>Registration closes on Thursday, October 18.</b> You'll be paired with another blogger, read one another's blogs, and do an online interview of each other. On last year's feedback form a lot of people mentioned wanting more time to swap questions, so this year we have about three weeks to get to know our interview partners and prepare our posts for November 14.<br />
<br />
Pairing is random, but like last year you'll be able to make special requests when you register and I'll do my best to accommodate them. For example, you might be a first parent blogger who prefers to be paired with another first parent. I hope that the option to limit the randomness helps make this a less risky undertaking for anyone who might be wary of participating.<br />
<br />
Please help spread the word, especially among bloggers who aren't in my usual domestic adoption/open adoption circles. To encourage everyone to talk this up, <b>I'm giving away a $20 Amazon gift card to someone who shares the link to this post or the <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/p/open-adoption-bloggers-interview.html">interview project page</a> on social media</b>. To enter, leave a comment on this post with a link to the tweet/blog post/forum post/Facebook mention/Pinterest pin/etc. telling people to the project. Leave as many comments as you'd like, as long as each one links to a different mention. Entries close on October 18 when the registration period ends; I'll choose a comment at random by October 23. (Further necessary but boring giveaway blather <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/2000/01/giveaway-blather.html">here</a>.)<br />
<br />
Don't forget to <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/p/open-adoption-bloggers-interview.html">register</a> by October 18. I hope you will all join in!Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-84210212122461257032012-09-04T13:30:00.002-07:002012-09-04T13:30:47.759-07:00Incorporating Blogs into Adoption CounselingI'm excited to share about a continuing education workshop for Pacific Northwest therapists, social workers, and counselors that I am lucky enough to be coordinating with my friend <a href="http://liontreecounseling.com/">Meg Jeske</a>, a Portland-area therapist with a particular focus on grief/loss, parenting, adoption, gender, and sexuality.<br />
<br />
Earlier this year, Meg approached me with the brilliant idea of developing a workshop in which clinicians could learn more about using blogs as a resource for themselves and their clients around open adoption issues. Our hope is that it will be a very collaborative, discussion-based time and I am looking forward to seeing what comes of it.<br />
<br />
The one-day workshop will be held down at the Lewis and Clark Graduate Campus in Portland on September 22. The description:<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Introduction to Open Adoption: First Person Accounts</b><br />
<br />
What is open adoption? How does it work? Is it confusing to the participants? Is it sustainable? This workshop will offer an introduction to open adoption and adoption ethics.<br />
<br />
Open adoption has been portrayed, for better or worse, in popular media in movies like Juno and television shows such as <i>Parenthood</i>, <i>Glee</i> and <i>Modern Family</i>.<br />
<br />
Another way to explore the topic of open adoption is through written accounts of people whose lives include open adoption. The blogosphere holds a wealth of information about personal experiences from people involved in adoption from many perspectives: as people facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption, as first parents, adoptive parents, adoptees, and adoption professionals.<br />
<br />
As counselors and therapists, we will all work with clients who are affected by adoption in some way. As clinicians, there are many points at which having awareness about open adoption will be useful. One is when working with an individual or couple considering placing a child for adoption. Another is when an open adoption already exists and the families involved encounter challenges with their emotions about adoption.<br />
<br />
Participants in this day-long workshop will have an opportunity to imagine themselves inhabiting a position within the adoption constellation and to explore what questions or issues are important to them from that vantage point. Using the <a href="http://www.openadoptionbloggers.com/" target="_blank">Open Adoption Bloggers</a> website as home base, we will examine the lived (and blogged) experience of people in open adoptions in their own words.<br />
<br />
Based on participant needs and interests, specific issues that arise in open adoption will also be addressed; for instance transracial adoption, same sex partner adoption, single parent adoption, adoption ethics, desires for different levels or types of openness within open adoptions, open adoption and social media, and post-placement grief.</blockquote>
If you're a counselor or student needing some continuing ed hours, we hope you'll check it out! For more information or to register, visit the <a href="http://graduate.lclark.edu/live/events/11855-introduction-to-open-adoption-first-person">Lewis and Clark website</a>. The early registration discount ends on September 7.Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-39750851253268803082012-06-24T14:03:00.003-07:002012-06-24T14:34:34.054-07:00It Shouldn't Have Been So HardIt shouldn't have been so hard. Not really.<br />
<br />
It was a matter of the smallest pen stroke, circling one word on a form. All I needed to do was circle "Yes". But I hesitated, moved to other questions, came back to that blank row and hovered still.<br />
<br />
At well-child check ups at our pediatrician's office, they hand you a sheet of Yes/No questions to answer while you wait to see the doctor, to avoid having the nurses waste their time repeating the same list of questions of everyone who comes in, I suppose. The "correct" answers are always the second choice, the word on the right. If you wanted to you blow off the form, you could just work your way straight down the column, circling without even reading.<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white;">Does the baby ride in a rear-facing car seat in the back row of the car at all times? <i>No/Yes</i></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white;">Do you feed the baby juice, soda, or anything other than breastmilk or formula with iron? <i>Yes/No</i></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white;">Does anyone smoke around the baby? <i>Yes/No</i></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="background-color: white;">Or the one that had me caught:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white;">Have you felt unusually sad or anxious since the baby's arrival? </span><i>Yes/No</i></li>
</ul>
<span style="background-color: white;">I knew I needed to say "Yes", to hopefully set the process of seeking medical help in motion. I've had times in my life when I've felt blue or adrift or overwhelmed. I've had times I knew that talking to a counselor would help give me some new perspective to help me through a stuck place. This time was different. I knew that something had shifted in my brain and wasn't snapping back into place.</span><br />
<br />
And, yet. As the weeks went by and I slid deeper into the pit, something kept me from seeking out the help the rational part of my brain knew I needed. I was a living checklist of depression symptoms. But I was scared of being dismissed or ridiculed and I felt so fragile, so breakable that even the thought of that possibly happening in a doctor's office was enough to make me want to pretend everything was fine. Depression alone isn't taken seriously all too often, much less post-partum depression, much much less adoption-related depression. After all, I hadn't given birth. I hadn't had to say goodbye to a child. I had nothing happen most people would label a crisis. I was supposed to be the happy, fulfilled one in this adoption equation, rejoicing over the newest family member who so many waiting adoptive parents would hypothetically have been thrilled to have in my place.<br />
<br />
I leaned against the wall in the waiting room and looked at the baby sleeping in his sling and was overwhelmed by despair. <span style="background-color: white;">Things were bad, and only getting worse. S</span><span style="background-color: white;">cared enough, I finally drew a small circle.</span><br />
<br />
After running through the usual routine with the baby, the pediatrician turned to me. "Now," he said, tapping his finger on the clipboard over that circled word, that glaring mark in the "wrong answer" column. I stiffened. "This is what concerns me most," he said.<br />
<br />
He asked some kind and probing questions, then broke about a dozen HMO rules to get me an appointment for the next week with a physician who was similarly nothing less than compassionate and encouraging. I left her office not with hope exactly--I was too far in the pit at that point to scrabble together anything resembling real hope--but with the feeling that something had just happened other than the sadness and anger and anxiety that had become my constant companions.<br />
<br />
So that's where things are. I'm trying medication, which has been a new and strange (and slow) experience. And I am finally feeling like things may be getting better. I am so very ready to return back to this life I love so much, to be someone who creates and serves and nurtures again instead of just someone who exists and needs.<br />
<br />
Thank you for waiting for me, those of you who are reading this. I am sorry that I have been gone so long.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05737780263679929983noreply@blogger.com46tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-14999787048958527312012-05-08T21:05:00.001-07:002012-05-08T21:05:20.128-07:00What I Want to Say to You on Mother's Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4bN2-Dxn4bEK_Sn1X0pFT8LSBdz93vgLUohUAp6G0Si4U0wlp-dun2QLyjj4ogbOSqj9SKUrPAu8wlmfx_sDeYfnduaGjv202I4D1tu_D6ftAtfhkO18sQa_JiCgCPAyOr3Mh/s1600/Mother's+Day.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4bN2-Dxn4bEK_Sn1X0pFT8LSBdz93vgLUohUAp6G0Si4U0wlp-dun2QLyjj4ogbOSqj9SKUrPAu8wlmfx_sDeYfnduaGjv202I4D1tu_D6ftAtfhkO18sQa_JiCgCPAyOr3Mh/s320/Mother's+Day.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
This post is becoming something of an annual tradition here at the blog; I cannot think of anything I want to say more as May comes around this each year. May has not been an easy month for me for many years now.<br />
<br />
I mostly feel the same about Mother's Day as I do about Valentine's Day. I enjoy the private celebrations letting the people I love know how valued they are. I dislike the shallow, frequently sexist, commercialized public commotion that typically only serves to make those on the "outside" feel bad. My time on the outside looking in on those holidays was recent enough that I well remember how awful it can be.<br />
<br />
If only there were a way to celebrate our relationships without also dredging up people's regrets, losses or unfulfilled dreams. If you're still waiting and hoping and yearning; if you're not the one raising your child; if you have lost a child or a pregnancy; if the day reminds you of a broken relationship or someone you're missing, I wish for you peace in the present and hope for the future. You are no less valuable, no less worthy of respect and admiration than the people who will be noticed on Sunday. Happy Mother's Day to each of you.<br />
<br />
<i>Read what other open adoption bloggers would like to say to you on this Mother's Day at the <a href="http://openadoptionbloggers.com/2012/05/08/roundtable-38-mothers-day-open-adoption/" target="_blank">Open Adoption Bloggers roundtable</a></i><br />
<br />
<a class="pin-it-button" count-layout="horizontal" href="http://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.productionnotreproduction.com%2F2012%2F05%2Fwhat-i-want-to-say-to-you-on-mothers.html&media=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-AmOlgPx0stY%2FT6hRpXUToTI%2FAAAAAAAAADo%2FQpqXD3jK5TE%2Fs320%2FMother%2527s%2BDay.jpg&description=Mother%27s%20Day%20can%20be%20bittersweet"><img border="0" src="//assets.pinterest.com/images/PinExt.png" title="Pin It" /></a><br />
<br />Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-67155973814879104612012-05-07T16:31:00.000-07:002012-05-07T16:31:40.098-07:00Another DayUm. Hello, there. Anyone home?<br />
<br />
I am sorry to disappear on you like I have, sorry for the unanswered emails and glaring lack of response around the interwebs. <br />
<br />
I think about writing every day, with a mixture of guilt and longing. Every day I can't quite bring myself to do it. I miss you all.<br />
<br />
The truth is this: I am struggling with some depression right now in the weeks following baby Trey's* arrival. I don't know why that is so hard to admit, but there it is.<br />
<br />
Thank you for your patience. I am doing the best I can, every day.Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-20273378473587236212012-04-19T23:59:00.005-07:002012-04-20T00:14:38.405-07:00Review: The Book of Jonas<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0399158456/ref=as_li_ss_il?ie=UTF8&tag=prodnotreprre-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0399158456" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ws.assoc-amazon.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&Format=_SL160_&ASIN=0399158456&MarketPlace=US&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&tag=prodnotreprre-20&ServiceVersion=20070822" /></a>Time for another BlogHer Book Club review! We read <a href="http://www.blogher.com/bookclub/now-reading-book-jonas" target="_blank"><i>The Book of Jonas</i></a>, the debut novel of Stephen Dau.<br />
<br />
<i>The Book of Jonas</i> gives us glimpses into three very different, but connected, lives. Jonas (originally Younis), is a Muslim teen refugee from a Middle Eastern country left unnamed in the book. After his family and village are destroyed by a misguided United States military operation, he runs away from the trauma both physically and emotionally as he tries to adjust to life in the U.S. Christopher is an American solider who was part of the raid that killed Jonas's family, and who Jonas says saved his life. Although he's been missing ever since that night, we see his inner wrestling through his journal. Finally, there is Rose, Christopher's mother, who channels her despair over not knowing what has become of her son into activism, in part to avoid having to come to terms with her own loss.<br />
<br />
You could say it is a story about the effects of war and the how people have to live with choices they're forced to make, or about the different ways people struggle after devastating events. But ultimately I think it is a book about people searching for release, whether that release is absolution from guilt or from the pain of not having answers. The sections of the book (Processional/Remembrance/Communion/Confession/Atonement/Benediction/Recessional) bring to mind a gathered community of faith. That sense of gathering and the way the characters' stories interconnect suggest that the release they all seek cannot come in isolation, but only as they reach out and are open to receive.<br />
<br />
<i>Disclosure: I was compensated for my BlogHer Book Club participation. All opinions expressed are my own.</i>Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-68297640534914921752012-04-17T10:04:00.001-07:002012-04-17T23:32:37.871-07:00Mother Letters<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.e-junkie.com/ecom/gb.php?ii=1085314&c=ib&aff=209878&cl=204728" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="ejejcsingle"><img border="0" src="http://motherletters.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Mother-Letters-Share-300x250.jpg" /></a></div>
A long time ago--in 2007, before Mari, even!--I wrote a letter to a woman I've never met. A husband was collecting letters about motherhood as a Christmas present for his wife, who was about to deliver their fourth child. So I wrote something sweet and encouraging one night and sent it off to him. It was just one of those nice things you do for people on the internet. (<b>ETA</b>: It turns out they received over 600 letters. I had no idea it was so many!)<br />
<br />
It turns out that the two of them went on to put some of the best letters and artwork into an e-book that was released today. The e-book is called <a href="https://www.e-junkie.com/ecom/gb.php?ii=1085314&c=ib&aff=209878&cl=204728" target="ejejcsingle"><i>Mother Letters</i></a> and my letter is in it. I get a buck or so if you buy it from one of these two links: either for the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007UOZGKI/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=prodnotreprre-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B007UOZGKI">Kindle</a> or in <a href="https://www.e-junkie.com/ecom/gb.php?ii=1085314&c=ib&aff=209878&cl=204728" target="ejejcsingle">PDF</a>. I haven't seen it yet--I actually don't even remember what I wrote and I'm hoping it's not too embarassing--but I wanted to let you all know!Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-20888508275668915172012-04-13T13:51:00.003-07:002012-04-13T13:51:48.222-07:00OAB Happenings This WeekOne of the nice things about the new Open Adoption Bloggers blog is the chance to highlight guest bloggers. The first fabulous guest post was by adoptive mom Rachel from <a href="http://www.whitesugarbrownsugar.com/" target="_blank">White Sugar Brown Sugar</a>, who offered <a href="http://openadoptionbloggers.com/2012/04/12/virtually-speaking-respecting-open-adoptions/" target="_blank">seven tips for respecting online privacy in open adoption</a>. Not everyone agreed with the tips, though--you might want to check out the post and comments and add your own thoughts. <br />
<br />
The 36th Open Adoption Roundtable was also posted this week. The prompt was about <a href="http://openadoptionbloggers.com/2012/04/10/open-adoption-roundtable-36-agreements/" target="_blank">open adoption agreements and the effects they (or their absence) have had on bloggers' relationships</a>. Some interesting, and varying, responses have come in so far.<br />
<br />
<br />Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-33060147964054037592012-04-11T07:00:00.000-07:002012-04-11T16:58:42.083-07:00Who Deserves to Be HeardThe annual Circle of Moms <strike>page view grab</strike> competition for <a href="http://www.circleofmoms.com/top25/Top-25-Adoptive-and-Foster-Moms-2012" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Top Adoption and Foster Care Mom Blogs</a> has started up. <a href="http://www.circleofmoms.com/blogger/production-reproduction?blogroll_id=56" target="_blank">I was nominated</a> (thank you to whoever honored me that way), but don't worry, I won't be begging for your daily votes again this year. As fun as it was to see my name on the list in 2011, there were no real benefits as far as traffic over the year, so I wasn't going to bother writing about the game in 2012.<br />
<br />
Then censorship reared its ugly head. Cassi is a first mother who writes about reform, ethics, and her personal experience at <a href="http://www.adoption-truth.com/" target="_blank">Adoption Truth</a>. Her blog was in the competition and doing well. Until, without warning, <a href="http://www.adoption-truth.com/2012/04/out-of-circle.html" target="_blank">it was removed from the voting list</a> by Circle of Moms. In an email, the contest organizers told her they "had to remove [her] blog from the Top 25 Adoption Blogs by Moms competition. As described on the contest page, the Top 25 Adoption Blogs by Moms contest is open to 'mom bloggers who write about adoption or foster parenting in a supportive, positive way.'"<br />
<br />
I've lurked on Cassi's blog for years. Her experience wasn't positive and she writes from that perspective. Why would anyone expect her to be "supportive" of adoption as it currently stands? She advocates for reform, cautions against the ethical pitfalls in domestic adoption, and writes frankly about how adoption affected her and her adult son. (As do others in the competition, but hers alone was singled out for removal.) Is her voice somehow not needed in the larger conversation about adoption because it is not "positive"?<br />
<br />
I'd argue that voices like Cassi's are the most important, in many regards. Speaking for myself, they give me a view of adoption I do not get anywhere else--not in the mainstream media, not in the most popular adoption books, not in most of the training materials I've been given. It is the people who vulnerably and honestly share about the complexities of adoption--those often labeled "anti-adoption" or "negative--who have most influenced my views of adoption. More than just my views--they have influenced my practice of adoption, my choices as an adoptive parent, my relationships with my children. All for the better. And they are effecting change on a larger scale in terms of <a href="http://www.adopteerightscoalition.com/" target="_blank">adoptee rights</a> and the ethical adoption practices, too.<br />
<br />
This is also a clear example of adoptive parent privilege at work (more on how I understand my privilege as both an adoptive parent and a non-adopted person <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/2010/10/things-i-dont-have-to-think-about-today.html" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/2007/09/doing-some-unpacking.html" target="_blank">here)</a>. If I, as an adoptive parent, had a difficult experience--if, say, one of my children's moms had decided to parent after all after initially placing her child with us or if I were struggling in a relationship with a first family member--and wrote about how awful I felt about adoption in that moment, I highly doubt I'd be labeled as "not positive and supportive" of adoption. In fact, I'd probably be given a lot of encouragement. If I support adoptees' birth certificate access or other reforms, I'm not dismissed.<br />
<br />
I'm not saying adoptive parents should be silenced. Not at all. But we need to realize that often we are recognized and heard at the expense of others. First parents and adoptees/foster care alumni are held to a different standard--they are asked to do the impossible and somehow prove that they <i>deserve</i> to be listened to <i>before</i> certain people will listen to them. Because of the privilege at our backs, I think we as adoptive parents have an obligation to work to leave space for and draw attention to first parent and adoptee voices, especially those who expose adoption's complexities and dangers.<br />
<br />
So, if you are interested, go to <a href="http://www.circleofmoms.com/top25/Top-25-Adoptive-and-Foster-Moms-2012" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">vote at Circle of Moms</a> this year. You can vote once each day. But as you click I encourage to think about how you can draw attention to the voices who have to fight hardest to be heard.Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-43874142998761413882012-04-10T15:37:00.000-07:002012-04-10T15:37:04.162-07:00Watch Out for Flying PigsThe new, stand alone <a href="http://openadoptionbloggers.com/">Open Adoption Bloggers</a> site is up and running! I probably shouldn't admit this, but part of me thought it impossible that I would ever actually pull this off.<br />
<br />
But it's up! It involved DNS codes and name servers and about 10,000 links that I still need to go through and update. But it is there. Please do go check it out. I sincerely welcome your feedback. If you see anything buggy or confusing, please let me know.<br />
<br />
I want to give an enormous public thank you to <a href="http://racilous.wordpress.com/">Racilous</a> from Adoption in the City. She put in a ton of time offering suggestions and helping me see the forest and not just the trees. She even made the header image so that it would match our badges.<br />
<br />
The roundtables, "meet the blogger" interviews, and other projects will be posted there now. In fact, the first roundtable is live today, asking folks to <a href="http://openadoptionbloggers.com/2012/04/10/open-adoption-roundtable-36-agreements/">write about open adoption agreements</a>. So please <a href="http://www.openadoptionbloggers.com/">visit and subscribe</a>!<br />
<br />
<br />Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-62359644892518842222012-04-08T20:59:00.000-07:002012-04-08T23:54:01.962-07:00Eleven Years(This is a partial <a href="http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/2007/04/love-commits.html">repost from five years ago</a>. Somehow it seemed just right for this year, too.)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCFZaIbo2VwB3P5TX2o4NCOdG03pyuVxKACFzSoKOXby8fPi9W6cuf7AvmlXUBHcWYbtTfX-45NIqc8AxuT5eWRCmgLHHNSWgkdn7oQhkbsMd89oiS4JdrTVd2RwhL3Ay68zvxvw/s400/CCI00005.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCFZaIbo2VwB3P5TX2o4NCOdG03pyuVxKACFzSoKOXby8fPi9W6cuf7AvmlXUBHcWYbtTfX-45NIqc8AxuT5eWRCmgLHHNSWgkdn7oQhkbsMd89oiS4JdrTVd2RwhL3Ay68zvxvw/s400/CCI00005.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Love commits to the journey despite not knowing what lies ahead.<br />
<br />
Love commits to the unknown ones who will join you along the way.<br />
<br />
Love commits to the person you are and to the person you are becoming.<br />
<br />
Happy eleventh anniversary, Todd. Parts of this journey have been nothing like what I expected, others have been exactly as I imagined. But I wouldn't trade it for anything.Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-24601943239553595262012-04-05T15:04:00.001-07:002012-04-05T15:04:52.938-07:00My Bloggy BabyDo you know how excited I am about this?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVf-dPWZNnsHmwThMG5fRMPYz_4sUumL4oqTZCyLjmFHWPn6Pf2MaqYs0dv2cTHW9iOwnvXJ6KjYAU-ZNg2oKbnKiRAknBkiv8dgFoSjZZiJSaKQlK3ToHB0p92DcOT50wGI04/s1600/NewOABSite.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVf-dPWZNnsHmwThMG5fRMPYz_4sUumL4oqTZCyLjmFHWPn6Pf2MaqYs0dv2cTHW9iOwnvXJ6KjYAU-ZNg2oKbnKiRAknBkiv8dgFoSjZZiJSaKQlK3ToHB0p92DcOT50wGI04/s400/NewOABSite.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
So stinkin' excited.<br />
<br />
Before the actual baby showed up unexpectedly, this was my baby of the moment. The Open Adoption Bloggers projects were feeling a bit squished into my blog and hard to navigate. I'm not a designer of any sort, so the look of it isn't anything to write home about. But look at the menu bar! Such lovely organization. Roundtables, blogroll, interviews, "best of" honorees--all a quick click away. I'm hoping to have it all up and running this weekend (fingers crossed, knock on wood, pinch of salt over the shoulder).<br />
<br />
If you have an OAB button or link to the blogroll on your blog, one thing you can do to help is to make sure it links to <i>www.openadoptionbloggers.com</i> and not <i>www.productionnotreproduction.com</i>. The code looks something like this, depending on which button you have:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq"><code><a href="<b style="color: red;">http://www.openadoptionbloggers.com/</b>" title="Open Adoption Blogs"><img alt="Open Adoption Blogs" border="0" src="http://i305.photobucket.com/albums/nn230/heatherpnr/OA_blogroll_v1GREEN.png" title="Open Adoption Blogs" /></a></code></blockquote><code></code>Look at the bit marked in red and if it says <i>http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/p/open-adoption-blogs.html</i> or <i>http://www.productionnotreproduction.com/2000/01/open-adoption-blogs.html</i>, please change it to <i>http://www.openadoptionbloggers.com</i>. Right now that still sends people to the blogroll page on my blog, but soon it will send people to the new site. If you need any help, please just let me know.<br />
<br />
The other things moving OAB to its own site does is open up lots of opportunities to feature <i>your</i> writing. I have some great guest posts and book reviews lined up, and there is unlimited room for more. If you're interested in contributing to the site, let me know and I'll send you more details. <br />
<br />
Wish me luck on getting this rolled out--I am not a techie!Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19220163.post-30726625756058954372012-04-01T15:40:00.000-07:002012-04-01T15:40:29.940-07:00New Open Adoption Bloggers - March 2012The <a alt="open adoption blogs" href="http://www.openadoptionbloggers.com/">open adoption bloggers</a> list grows every month and sometimes additions get lost among all the awesomeness. Hopefully these round-ups of the new blogs from the month before will help folks connect.<br />
<br />
Here are the blogs added in March:<br />
<br />
<b>FIRST PARENTS</b><br />
<br />
<a href="http://ilovemy2sons.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">From Birthmom to Adoptive Mom</a>: I am a birth mom and an adoptive mom sharing stories from my journey through adoption. I am currently in a very open adoption.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://petitexplosion.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Petitexplosion</a>: A birthmother and birthfather doing open adoption together, living through the process day by day, and trying to devote themselves to each other, before devoting their lives to a baby.<br />
<br />
<b>ADOPTIVE PARENTS</b><br />
<br />
<a href="http://adoptivus.blogspot.com/">Adoptio</a>: Building a Catholic family through open adoption. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://thebiglongwait.blogspot.com/">Our Adoption Journey...and Life with Kate!</a>: Our journey through domestic infant adoption, and now life with our daughter, Kate! We share the good, the bad, and the ugly (but mostly good)!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://margaretadopts.wordpress.com/">MargaretAdopts</a>: The blog explores our adventures as soon-to-be parents to a nine-year-old boy and describes our experiences with the adoption process. We've been committed to the idea of open adoption since the beginning, but now we'll find out what it's like to live out that decision on a day-to-day basis. <br />
<br />
<b>PRE-ADOPTIVE PARENTS </b><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.noduedate.com/" rel="nofollow">No Due Date</a>: We're on a journey to grow our family through adoption. We invite you to share in our journey, and help us in the search to find an expecting mother who is considering adoption.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://glavasadopt.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Susan & Mitch (hope to) adopt</a>: We’re following our dream to become parents by adopting a baby girl or boy through open adoption. Our blog shares adventures, experiences, and thoughts along the way.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://2mommiestryingtoadopt.blogspot.com/">Two Mommies Trying to Adopt</a>: I am hoping that this blog will act as a support for my partner and me as we try to navigate the road toward adoption. I will blog about the journey that we are taking and the emotions that occur along the way.Heather Schadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17535502003333457420noreply@blogger.com0